4 key lessons about Alzheimer’s disease

Read these tips from leading Alzheimer's caregivers, activists, and educators.

Smiling adult woman and senior grandmother with Alzheimer’s touching foreheads

Updated on September 25, 2024.

We all feel the impact of Alzheimer’s disease—even if the condition isn’t affecting a loved one directly. The wider effects of Alzheimer's are:

  • Financial: Alzheimer’s disease costs society billions of dollars each year.
  • Social: Most of us know someone struggling to help an Alzheimer's patient.
  • Emotional: Who isn’t frightened by the thought that one day we could develop this increasingly common disease?

So we all owe a debt of gratitude to the people who are working on the front lines to care for people with Alzheimer's and to educate others about the condition. Here are tips on how to make care more effective and ideas for how to make the experience of caregiving a less isolating one.

Caregivers: Tap into your optimism

Television personality Leeza Gibbons has a mantra that helped her get through her days as a caregiver for her mother, who had Alzheimer’s disease: Breathe, believe, receive. Or, "BBR," as she puts it.

“Just like CPR, I think BBR can save your life,” says the creator of Leeza’s Care Connection, a non-profit system of support programs for caregivers. Here's how it works:

  • Breathe: Take ten purposeful breaths to slow your heart rate and soothe your physiology, she says.
  • Believe: You can get through this. “Now is the time to believe in your higher power or your higher self or to engage your optimism,” she says.
  • Receive: Ask for and accept help, she says: “This is not a path you should walk alone.” 

Rethink what constitutes 'okay'

The job of an Alzheimer’s caregiver is frequently made harder by the confusion or resistance of the person being helped. Three small questions make a big difference, says caregiver Lori La Bey, founder of Alzheimer’s Speaks:

  • Are they safe?
  • Are they happy?
  • Are they pain-free?

“We shift our mindset by asking these questions,” says La Bey. “If a person with memory loss asks us the same question 45 times in ten minutes, it’s irrelevant, just as long as they are safe, happy, and pain-free.”

Employers: Stay loose

With the aging of the baby boom generation, we’re facing an influx of need, says Sherri Snelling, founder of The Caregiving Club and author of A Cast of Caregivers. That means a heavier burden will fall on members of the "sandwich generation," people who are trying to balance the needs of their children, their older parents, and their jobs and careers.

Out of self-interest, employers need to get more flexible about flextime and other caregiver-friendly policies.

“As our society embraced ‘going green,’ we need everyone to think about ‘going gray,’” says Snelling.

Let sibling squabbles go

It’s the question Lori La Bey hears most often: How do I make my siblings change?

“So many people feel that their siblings aren’t helping enough,” says La Bey. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my 30-year journey with my mother and her dementia, it’s that the only thing I control is myself. What a gift that’s been.”

Trying to change other people is worse than useless—it’s an energy drain, says La Bey. “Let it go, and lead by example. Just make sure you’re not hindering others by appearing to be perfect!”

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