Talking to your kids about your early breast cancer diagnosis

Kristi Funk, MD, leads a discussion on navigating the challenging terrain of talking to children about an early breast cancer diagnosis.

Transcript

00:00

Receiving an early breast cancer diagnosis can feel life-changing, and understandably so. Just talking about your diagnosis

00:07

with the people in your life can be hard, but it can feel especially difficult when talking to your children.

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00:20

First and foremost, be honest. Kids are pretty intuitive. They can sense when something's wrong, even at a young age.

00:28

It will be hard, but tell them the truth. This will keep their imaginations from running wild.

00:35

I also recommend using the word "cancer" with kids, because hiding your illness with vague terms and secrecy gives it

00:43

power and makes others fear it. Receiving the truth from you in this moment also increases the transparency and trust

00:51

they will feel in future moments. Remind them it's OK to be upset.

00:57

It's OK to not be OK. Tell them that your illness in no way, shape, or form

01:04

is their fault and that, no matter what happens, they will always be loved and taken care of.

01:11

The amount of detail you should provide will depend on the child's age and personality. If you're speaking to a young child,

01:19

you might keep it really simple and hopeful, assuming that applies to your diagnosis. For older children, you should also

01:26

talk to them about any physical and emotional changes they might notice in you as a result of treatment.

01:32

These things can be scary for kids, especially if they don't know what's going on. Remind them that, if anything changes in the future,

01:41

you'll be letting them know. Make sure you're setting aside enough time to give them the space they need to get things off their chest

01:49

and to ask questions if they have any. Just remember, you don't have to have all the answers. That's OK.

01:56

It might also help to talk about your prognosis and remind them that an early breast cancer diagnosis is very curable.

02:05

Finally, you should remind them that, even though this is a difficult situation, they should continue to be a kid,

02:12

to go to school, to participate in activities, to have fun. There's no doubt these conversations are tough.

02:20

But you and your children will benefit from having an open, honest and heartfelt conversation.