Updated on June 6, 2024.
In recent years, Americans have experienced a range of challenges on a societal level: the COVID pandemic, economic strain, and extreme weather, to name just a few.
During such challenging times, is it really possible to feel grateful?
Absolutely, according to noted gratitude researcher Robert A. Emmons, PhD, professor of psychology at UC Davis and author of The Little Book of Gratitude. “It’s under these conditions that we have the most to gain by a grateful perspective on life,” he says.
“When life is going well, it allows us to celebrate and magnify the goodness,” Emmons explains.
On the flip side, when life is going badly, gratitude provides some perspective. It allows us to view life in its entirety—and not be overwhelmed by a particular point in time, which will eventually pass, he adds.
It may be difficult to feel grateful during difficult times, but Emmons points out that you can work toward cultivating a sense of gratitude. Doing this all year round can bolster your physical and mental well-being. Gratitude can provide a “psychological immune system” to cushion you against disappointments and create resilience, he says.
Remember, resilient people aren’t immune to stress or hardship. They just adapt to their circumstances differently, enabling them to get back up after being knocked down.
There is no time like the present to start growing your gratitude. Here are eight proven ways to do just that:
Keep a gratitude journal
One of Emmons’ most well-known studies, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, found that when students made a regular practice of writing down a list of things they were grateful for, they were happier and more supportive of others than those who wrote down lists of what annoyed them. Whether you jot down your list in a journal you keep next to your bed or type it into an app on your phone, make a point of counting your blessings and the good things in your life, from the smell of coffee in the morning, to the new season of The Crown, to the continued good health of your loved ones.
Write a thank-you letter
Was there a teacher in high school who recommended a book that changed your life? Did you ever have a neighbor who knocked on your door to welcome you when you moved to a new town and didn’t know anyone? Even if the good deed occurred years or decades ago, write them a letter of thanks, suggests Emmons. Even better—call them or meet in person (socially distanced, of course) to read it out loud. And then write two more: One 2009 study published in the Journal of Writing Research found that writing three different thank-you letters of about one page each was enough to make a significant change in levels of gratitude and happiness.
Give back to others
Pay your gratitude forward by volunteering at a pet shelter, tutoring kids who are learning remotely, or donating canned goods to a food pantry. (Go to VolunteerMatch.com to find virtual and in-person opportunities in your city.) “Think about how you can use your strengths and talents to help others,” recommends Emmons. “Paradoxically, we become more grateful when we become a giver rather than a receiver.” A July 2020 study published in the Journal of Psychology in Africa found that the more hours college-age volunteers spent volunteering, the greater their sense of gratitude.
Say thank you to a higher power
Part of cultivating gratitude is acknowledging that the good in your life comes from outside yourself—whether that means a higher spiritual power, nature or humanity, Emmons says. Whatever larger power you find meaning in, be sure to take a moment to express thanks.
Remember hard times in the past
“We associate gratitude with dwelling on the good but recalling the worst times in our lives can also be beneficial,” Emmons says. He suggests you think about one of the most difficult things that happened to you—perhaps you were fired from a job, or someone you loved passed away—and think of how you persevered and went on to experience happier times. “The realization that we made it through past tough times sets up a fertile contrast for present gratitude,” Emmons explains.
Look ahead to the future
Keep in mind that the COVID pandemic rose and receded, economic cycles rise and fall, and millions of people around the world are taking action to try to ease the climate crisis.
“If you’re struggling with feeling gratitude in your current situation, project yourself into the future and imagine how grateful you’ll be when your circumstances change,” says Emmons. “This is a defiant attitude that insists that gratitude is the best approach to life, no matter what.”
When all else fails, simply go through the motions
Just by physically saying the words “thank you” or smiling when someone holds the door open for you, you can trigger you brain to feel gratitude, says Emmons. “By living the gratitude that we don’t feel, we can begin to feel that gratitude that we live,” he says.
