We approach conception sex with the fantasy that every time we make love, it will be meaningful and special. In this fantasy, you recognize the exact moment you conceive because you and you partner are so filled with love for each other and your baby. The clouds part, the angels sing. It’s a beautiful image, no doubt. But for many couples, the reality of trying to conceive can be much less dreamy—and a whole lot more stressful.
Some couples get pregnant right away. Others find themselves grappling with infertility issues. Most of us fall somewhere in the middle. But even this period of trying can be, well, trying. With trysts often scheduled around ovulation, you may find your sex life loses its spontaneity. This sort of “sex on demand” may seem appealing at first, over time, it can make men feel like their only purpose is to procreate. Suddenly, something that was spontaneous and unpredictable has become routine and scheduled. Also, with conception sex, we often skip the niceties of foreplay and go straight for the intercourse. Sex can start to feel like a chore for both parties.
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The Good in Bed Guide to Sex and the Baby Years
At first, it’s a dream come true for many men: a partner who wants sex, wants a lot of it, and wants it now. But over time, this can wear thin. When sex is timed around ovulation, with the sole goal of procreation, foreplay and your emotional connection can go right out the window. Men can start to feel used and women can get resentful when men don’t comply.
When you’ve got a one-track mind (“sex equals baby”), it can be easy to lose sight of the bigger picture: your life together as a couple. Counteract the pressure to procreate by rediscovering romance, in and out of bed. Send flirty emails during the day—and not necessarily just during ovulation—promising all the sexy things you’ll do later that night. Do little things to help each other out around the house. Give each other massages. You can’t escape the fact that sex will always have a bigger agenda when you’ve ovulating, but you can try to put the love back in lovemaking.
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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.