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Updated on February 2, 2024
An estimated 21 million adults in the United States had at least one major depressive episode in 2021, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. If you're the primary caregiver for one of those millions of people, you're at risk for becoming depressed yourself.
"Be aware that when you are a primary caregiver for someone who has depression, it's incredibly stressful," says Peter Kanaris, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Smithtown, New York. To protect your own mental health, Kanaris recommends keeping a boundary of separation between your personal life and your role as a depression caregiver.
Draw a line to benefit yourself and your loved one
One way to provide this distance and help keep caregiver depression and stress at bay is to schedule regular "time-outs" for yourself on your calendar. Take time away from being a caregiver to do something you enjoy. Continue to pursue activities that give you pleasure, such as music, hobbies, exercise or walking, or spending time in nature. Remember: You need to take care of yourself so that your mental health doesn't deteriorate.
It's easy to become so focused on helping the person with depression that you neglect yourself. For example, you may stray from your ordinary diet. You can begin to feel tired or down because you haven't been eating balanced, nutritious meals.
To help keep caregiver stress from becoming unmanageable, try tracking your behavior and what you're eating. Kanaris advises that you keep track of sleep problems and the amount of sleep you're getting at night, as well as how much laughter is in your day.
"Laughter is one of the first things to disappear with depression," Kanaris explains.
In addition to being aware of humor in your life, you'll want to track your thoughts and feelings by day, as you can lose your sense of self amid the constant caring for the person with depression. It's also important to keep up your social contacts. Being social and interacting with other people can go a long way toward helping you manage stress.
Be mindful of caregiver depression symptoms
To preserve your mental health and well-being, and to continue being a supportive caregiver for your loved one with depression, seek help if you experience any of the following:
- Less energy than usual
- An increase in physical illnesses (catching colds more often, for example)
- Constant fatigue or exhaustion
- Sleep problems (such as insomnia), poor sleep, or too little sleep
- Trouble relaxing, even when time is available
- An increase in impatience and irritability
- Feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, or helpless
- Extreme, impulsive behavior, such as overeating, drinking too much alcohol, or abusing substances
If any of these symptoms persist for more than a few weeks, reach out to a healthcare provider (HCP). They will be able to refer you to a mental health professional who can listen to your concerns and help you get the treatment and support you need.
