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Hate confrontation? Try these 5 therapist-approved tactics

Keep your relationships intact after tough discussions.

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Dealing with interpersonal issues can be tricky—especially when it comes to resolving problems. If you have difficulty speaking your mind or a fear of rocking the boat, your first inclination might be to stay mum and bury things deep inside. However, there can be health benefits to talking things out.

"Clearing the air can help relieve stress and tension," says RacineShow More

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1. Weigh the pros and cons of speaking up

If you’re not used to speaking your mind, it can be easy to convince yourself it’s better to stay silent. You may fear a negative reaction or be conditioned by previous incidents. “Early childhood experiences with volatile parents and experiences of emotional, physical or mental abuse could cause aShow More

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2. Decide your preferred outcome

“To prepare for a confrontation, the most important first step is to think about your end goal,” says Henry. Figuring out what you want will help clear issues like how and when to approach the person. Consider the following:

  • Are you seeking an apology?
  • Do you simply want to get something off your
  • Show More
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3. Be clear and try I-statements

Once you decide to confront someone, be straightforward. "The best approach is to be honest and open to the other person's feedback," says Henry. "Use clear statements that help you express how you feel and what you think needs to change or be fixed."

"I" statements can help you do that. When youShow More

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4. Keep calm and carry on

Many of us fear arguing because of lack of control over the situation, the other person’s potential reaction and our own emotions. "We avoid confrontation either because we have trouble handling conflict or because we don't trust ourselves to control the intensity of our anger and/or reaction,"Show More

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5. Check in and process what happened

Once you've executed your plan, you may have mixed emotions. Space might be needed on both sides, so be sure to give the other person time to process what transpired; don’t try to force further conversations before the both of you are ready. And if you need to vent, try to speak to third party—aShow More

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