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Making decisions about sex, birth control, and health

How to determine what’s right for you when it comes to decisions about sex, healthcare, and birth control.

A woman sits in an exam room waiting for her gynecology check-up to begin.

Updated on February 7, 2024

Browse the internet and you will find no shortage of pages about “taking charge” or “taking care” of sexual and reproductive health. But what does this mean, exactly?

While the answer may be a little different for everyone, it involves feeling good about yourself and knowing your choices align with your values. It means being proud of—and enjoying—your sexuality. It’s knowing your own sexual boundaries and feeling confident to communicate those boundaries to a partner. It’s taking action to avoid sexually transmitted infections (STIs). It’s being empowered to make decisions about if, or when, you want to become pregnant. It’s getting regular gynecological checkups and being able to have informed, honest conversations with your healthcare providers.

Taking charge of your sexual and reproductive health means all of this and more. Here are some key strategies to ensure you’re giving these things the care, thought, and attention they need.

Determine what’s right for you

Sex is something you deserve to enjoy. Remember that it’s up to you to decide if and when you choose to have sex. This goes for whether you’re in a romantic relationship or whether you’re not. And always be sure you’re having sex in a safe and healthy way. It’s a good idea to check in with yourself regularly—think about your values, what you’re looking for, and any boundaries you’d like to set for yourself. And remember that your answers can change during different stages of your life.

What may also change throughout your life are your thoughts on becoming pregnant. If this isn’t the right time to become a parent, you’ll want to take steps to prevent becoming pregnant. Your healthcare provider can help you understand your options for birth control so you can choose a method that aligns with your lifestyle, your overall health, and where you see yourself in the future.

Keep up with your gynecological appointments

Regular gynecological exams are another important aspect of maintaining good sexual and reproductive health. Here’s a rundown of the key parts of an appointment:

  • Pelvic exam. Pelvic exams are done to look for any problems or abnormalities. A pelvic exam involves an examination of the external genitals. A provider may also examine the internal organs, which involves inserting two gloved fingers into the vagina and pressing on the abdomen to examine the uterus and ovaries.
  • HPV test. Human papillomavirus (HPV) spreads through sexual contact and is associated with most cases of cervical cancer. Vaccine options exist that can help prevent infection by certain types of HPV. During your appointment, you and your healthcare provider can talk about this vaccine and if it makes sense for you to get it.
  • Pap test. A Pap test involves collecting cells from the cervix (the lower part of the uterus that opens up into the vagina). This test can detect precancerous and cancerous cells in the cervix.
  • Discussion about STIs and possible screening. Some STIs do not cause symptoms, so it’s important to be honest with your healthcare provider about your sexual partners and whether reliable protection has been used. Your healthcare provider will take this information and your past medical history to determine if you should be screened for any STIs.
  • Birth control check-in. This checkup is also a good time to talk about birth control—whether you’re thinking about starting it, are considering a different option, or want to stop birth control because you want to become pregnant.

Outside of your regular exams, you should schedule a visit with your gynecologist if you experience pain, menstrual changes, any skin issues with your vulva, or if you have questions about birth control. Being familiar with your body—and being on the lookout for anything out of the ordinary—is an important part of keeping yourself healthy.

Be honest with yourself, your partners, and your HCPs

Openness and honesty also benefits the people around you. Being honest with your healthcare providers will help them answer your questions and give you the best care possible. Open communication with partners helps you make informed decisions together—about safe sex, personal comfort levels and boundaries, views about pregnancy, and more. And of course, continue to be honest with yourself, and keep learning about your body, disease risk, the importance of health screenings, and more.

Article sources open article sources

National Coalition for Sexual Health. Take Charge of Your Sexual Health.
American Sexual Health Association. What is sexual health?
MedlinePlus. Women's Health Checkup.
The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Pelvic Exams.
Carrie A. Terrell. What Happens at an Ob-Gyn Checkup and Why? One Doctor Explains. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. August 2023.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. What Should I Know About Screening?
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. How to talk to a doctor about STD Testing.
Office on Women's Health. Birth control methods.
Mayo Clinic. Menstrual cycle: What's normal, what's not.

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