How the power of curiosity can change your life
In this episode of Small Changes, Big Results we hear from various psychological professionals on the benefits curiosity can have in our lives. We learn about breaking habit loops, getting curious about what brought us joy as children, and more.
Transcript
[MUSIC PLAYING]
My biggest wish for my future self, both physically and mentally, is just to be able to be more zen, to find my place of peace and a sanctuary wherever I am,
and to just not overthink and not overwork, and just lean into life a little more. That's what I hope I find as I get older.
Staying curious is the key to living a long and happy life. First of all, what do you think about this? Do you agree? Do you not?
I love this. I am a huge fan and advocate of being curious.
I've always said the minute somebody says that they know something, run in the opposite direction.
I really do feel like we're all having this human experience. And part of the magic of life is to be
able to stay curious and ask questions and build relationships and join communities and learn
information. I mean, it really is what keeps us in an open state, as opposed to the moment
that you know something and you're committed to a belief system. You do create walls around you because you're
so focused on the knowledge or what you know. So it can keep you from learning something new
or having a different perspective. For me, I've always been a big fan of being open, being curious, and being creative.
And I really attribute a lot of my life's journey to being curious. If I wasn't a curious 15-year-old growing up
in East LA during the LA Riots, I would have never achieved the level of accomplishment
I have now. So I love this. I think more of us need to be curious.
More of us need to be open. And being curious never goes out of style. From a nutrition perspective, I always
want my patients to be curious. I tell people, branch out. Don't be afraid to try new foods.
And it's a fantastic way to expand your palate. Self-improvement means to me that you feel safe enough
to speak the truth to your purpose and intention and the truth of who you are, and that you are wanting
to deepen into that realization of yourself and how you want to show up in the world and how you want to connect with others.
Often, some of these habits that we're trying to change get triggered from having a really stressful day. Or we've come home and we're exhausted
and our brain just says, you know, screw it. I'm just gonna do my old habits. I know eating healthy would be good for me. But I'm just gonna order out.
These can be great opportunities for us to bring curiosity in and ask ourselves, what do I truly need right now versus what do I want?
And that curiosity can help us open up and take care for ourselves and say, look, yes. You did have a have a tough day.
Is eating a pint of ice cream actually caring? Is that self-care, or is that self-indulgence?
And so the curiosity can help us notice where we might be moving, which is often, say if we're a stress eater, toward the refrigerator
or the freezer. And pause and just say, oh, there's that habit again.
Is this really self care? And be curious. And even if we do it, care for ourselves.
You know, it's like, OK, what can I learn from that? Can I lean into that? Can that obstacle become the way,
in terms of the way that I can learn how my mind works, and then eventually learn how to work with my mind? [MUSIC PLAYING]
I have a lot of people that come to see me for a lot of anxiety and mood disorders and depression. And part of a depressive episode is losing interest in things.
If you guys remember when you were kids, we found wonder in everything. As we grow and we get older, we tend
to become a little bit cynical. And we lose that sense of wonder. So when I have patients, clients that come to me and they're experiencing depression and anxiety and mood
disorders, my suggestion to them is reflect on your past interests. Think back. Think back to when you were younger.
Did you want to learn how to play the guitar or the piano? Did you want to learn how to sing? Do you want to learn how to draw? Did you want to collect stamps?
I don't know, but maybe you had something in your life that you really enjoyed, that you found really interesting.
So think back and take yourself back to that point in your life. The second thing-- explore your passions.
What do you think used to make you feel alive? And then the third one is what we also do as we grow up.
Make sure that you're open to try new things, because we tend to close off. We tend to be guarded as we grow. So try to open yourself up a little bit
and push some boundaries a little bit with your comfort level in that respect. Another one is assess your skills.
Everybody is good at something out there. Even though you might be hard on yourself and say that you're not, you probably are. So do a little bit of self-assessment.
You might actually involve your family or friends in this discussion. With learning a new skill or improving an old skill,
there comes joy and there comes a feeling of accomplishment. And that's unbelievably helpful in our psychological well-being.
So, two more-- I'm gonna give you two more here. Number one is volunteer. There's something about volunteering,
being part of a bigger picture, being a piece of something that has a bigger end.
The final one is when you start to catch on to something that you have a passion for
or potentially have a skill for, now comes the fun part. We have so much access now via the internet. So read and research.
Start by reading and researching. And the amount of information out there that you're gonna find about this potential passion or skill
can be tremendous. Those steps will really guide you. If you follow them, they will really guide you to open up your world, develop some more passions,
develop some hobbies, get involved in the community, and ultimately, just be happy. [MUSIC PLAYING]
Curiosity really is a source of motivation that can get us through all different stages of our life.
What research finds is that as people go through their life, at first, they're looking for information. They want to learn the tools of their trade
so that they can have the fabulous career that they've hoped for. But as we go through life, that sort of shifts. That want for information, for knowledge,
and for power sort of dies off. And instead, we prioritize emotional goals, interpersonal social contacts.
That's where we find happiness. And what curiosity can do is help us at both stages of that spectrum.
Curiosity and keeping an open mind, ridding ourselves of that word, failure, of the fear of failure,
that's what sets us back or holds us back from trying out new spaces. Curiosity comes when we shed ourselves
of feelings of embarrassment. Yeah, we might feel embarrassed if this opportunity for advancement falls short of our expectations
or if this conversation goes nowhere. We might have a great conversation through it. We might have a good story to share later on.
Or we might actually learn something really valuable that expands our self-concept, what we think of who we are
and what's possible for ourselves in the future. I think people have the wrong idea about self-esteem. A lot of people have the wrong idea about self-esteem.
Often we're chasing it. Or we think we need to curate it in other people. We want to cultivate it in our children. We want to bring it out in our employees.
We want to support our friends' positive self-esteem and sense of themselves. But what that does when we focus on just cultivating
that positive sense of self is that it makes us afraid to face an obstacle, because we think it's diagnostic of our inabilities.
It makes us afraid to try new things. It reduces our curiosity because we're afraid that it might pull us down or pull other people down.
So instead of shooting for positive self-regard, we might try to fold in a little bit of a search for truth.
If I learn where my weaknesses are, I try to not tell myself that this is the space that I
shouldn't enter, that this means I'm not this kind of person. Instead, it means, hey, here's where you should spend your time.
Here's where you can invest resources to grow. And rather than being afraid of receiving that feedback that may hurt a little bit in the moment, we can celebrate it.
We can thank the people who give us that kind of information because it can help us direct our efforts most effectively.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Take a deep breath in. Mindset is everything. I'm not 90 for nothing. Small steps, one motion.
happiness
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