How can I learn to say no to requests?

We often have a hard time saying no to requests, because we are afraid of the consequences. Psychotherapist Tiffanie Davis Henry, PhD, shares some strategies for saying no, and explains why it's ok and important to sometimes say no.

Transcript

00:00

What's going to happen if I say no? Maybe this person won't like me, or maybe they're going to be mad at me, or maybe they'll reject me if I say no.

00:07

We always think about those negative what ifs, but what about the positive what ifs? [MUSIC PLAYING]

00:18

Here's a great way to learn how to say no. First and foremost, you need to schedule yourself. OK? Put yourself on your own to-do list and on your own calendar.

00:26

If you actually enter in things that you need to do for yourself in your calendar, you're already booked. So it's an easy out.

00:33

You're already booked. You can say no now and not worry about feeling guilty, not worried about disappointing anyone, and not worried that,

00:41

oh, I told a little white lie, because you didn't. It's in your calendar.

00:47

A lot of folks feel like they can't say no because they're thinking about those consequences. What if? What's going to happen if I say no?

00:54

Maybe this person won't like me, or maybe they're going to be mad at me, or maybe they'll reject me if I say no. We always think about those negative what ifs,

01:02

but what about the positive what ifs? What if I get an extra hour of sleep? What if I finally get the things done

01:09

for me that I need to get done? What if I finally make it to my doctor's appointment on time? What if can be positive or negative.

01:17

Forget about all of those negative what ifs and think about the positive things that can happen if you just say no.