Patient Perspective: having resilience
Four people living with metastatic breast cancer share what it means to be resilient.
Transcript
LA'KESHA JACKSON-GORDON: Like, at the end of the day, I mean, no, I don't want this, but I'm still doing what I got to do. Like, I'm not about to, like-- I might cry in the corner one day,
but after that, I'm wiping my tears and I'm, like, bossing up, and I'm like, all right, that's done.
KRISTI FUNK: I'm Dr. Kristi Funk, medical director and breast cancer surgeon at the Pink Lotus Breast Center in California.
Today, we're going to talk about learning resiliency with metastatic breast cancer.
Joining me are four MBC patients. We have Jennifer from Nevada, Monique from North Carolina,
Lakisha from New York, and Beth, also from North Carolina. Beth, let's start with you. When you were first diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer,
what were your thoughts at the time? BETH FAIRCHILD: The initial thought was that I was going to die imminently,
and then I also felt very isolated and alone because I didn't know anyone else with the disease. KRISTI FUNK: Yeah.
Isolation can be so paralyzing and add more fright to an already frightening situation.
La'Kesha, how is it for you? My initial thought was, oh my gosh, I'm going to die, and what's going to happen to my daughter?
So I was afraid, I was upset, I was disappointed, I was hurt, I was devastated. For you all, who have been on your journeys for months
to years now, you know that the most profound personal growth and redefining of oneself emerges
during those tough times. Monique, I'd like to hear what your journey with metastatic breast cancer taught you about who you are,
what life you'd like to lead. MONIQUE GREEN: It has taught me that I was stronger than I thought I was, and I've always--
ever since I've been diagnosed, I've always pushed myself to just do more. You know, before I was diagnosed, I used to take things for granted.
I was a procrastinator, but not anymore. Right. Being stronger than you thought you were is such a gift,
and knowing that you have to embrace this moment because the future moments feel more finite than they did before the MBC diagnosis.
Jennifer, what about you? What has this MBC diagnosis taught you about who you are?
JENNIFER LEE FRANKLIN: You have the diagnosis and people give you timelines of, like, oh, you know, five years, 10 years-- you know, whatever.
I think it's just taught me to say, like, no, I'm going to live my life as if I'm going to live for a very long time, and I'm going to embrace every day
and enjoy every day and tell people I love them, and just be true to myself. Looking at you all right now, I see real resilience.
What do you think resiliency is? I want to know what that word means to each of you, who are such emblems of it.
Let's start with you, La'Kesha. I would say, for me, it's just surviving and keeping strong,
and trying to maintain my mental health, because I feel like I'm on this high-low-- like, this roller coaster.
So it's really important for me to try to be resilient. I need to really focus on my mental health
in order to keep me level with. Monique, how about you? What is resiliency? Resilience to me is just finding the strength
to push on, even when you don't have the energy to do it. We know that today-- right now, even-- there may be someone being diagnosed with MBC who feels
pretty unprepared for it, you say the least. What words of advice or a little message of hope
can you give to that individual? What I wish someone had told me is that I may die because of my diagnosis,
but that's not today. Find your tribe. Start reaching out to other patients.
I gained so much knowledge from women who have been living with this disease about treatments and side effects and how to combat those things,
and so really finding the people that can support you and lift you up when you
need it is really important. I would tell anyone just diagnosed not to think that you're going to die, not
to think that your demise is right there in front of you, because we may hear these things, but that doesn't necessarily mean that that's
what's going to happen to us. Everybody's different. One of the biggest helps for me was I actually saw Beth on another group online,
and she looked like me. I have tattoos, she liked yoga-- like, she did all this cool stuff. And I just remember seeing like, OK, these women are out there
and they're thriving and they're living their lives, and I think that we need to be present for that, for those people, and just know
that you're going to find that. Like Jennifer said, live your life. Like, at the end of the day, I mean, no, I don't want this.
I don't want it, right? But I'm still doing what I got to do. Like, I'm not about to-- I might cry in a corner one day, but after that, I'm wiping my tears and I'm, like, bossing up
and I'm like, all right, that's done. You have to allow yourself to feel, you know, to feel it, because it's hard, but you also we
have to give yourself some grace to be able to just continue to go on and do the things that you normally would do as,
long as you're able to do it. Hope, love, grace, self forgiveness-- these are all great motivators.
breast cancer
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